Dear Abby: T-Day venue change serves up bickering

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Dear Abby: For the last six years, my partner and I have hosted family Thanksgiving dinners. I always spend more time and energy than I have to make it beautiful and successful. This year, I have neither the budget nor a desire for the stress. I made it known early that we wouldn’t be hosting this year.

Surprisingly, my little sister volunteered to host, and she sent an invitation to the usual crowd. The next day, she called me to tell me that although she would host, she couldn’t possibly be expected to do all that work, and she told me to bring the turkey.

She said I was free to cook it at my place or “come a bit early” to cook it there. Shocked, I told her absolutely not, because avoiding this responsibility was the reason I’m not hosting. I was planning on bringing a side or dessert as is usual for guests, but not the main dish. She got mad and said I was ruining Thanksgiving.

I feel a growing responsibility to help her out, even though I don’t need the stress in my life right now, and I know once I start, I’ll take control (with her encouragement). She has no idea the amount of work that goes into this meal every year, and I think it will be a mess if I don’t help her cook and prepare.

Am I being selfish? Should I go early and teach her how to cook the turkey (and do everything else) for the sake of rescuing this dinner, which everyone has come to expect meets a certain standard? The thought is making me miserable, but I feel myself caving to my sister’s tantrum. — Not Feeling Thankful

Dear Not Feeling: Tell your manipulative sister you will come to her place early and show her how to properly cook the turkey, but you won’t be bringing anything other than the side dish you already plan to bring. (This may be a way to teach her some independence.) If she needs more outside help, she should contact the other guests and tell them what she wants them to bring.

You are a generous and caring sister, but enough is enough. Your Thanksgivings will be happier if you share the responsibility with other relatives. Also, remember that there are easier ways to manage holiday dinners than cooking all the food yourself. Many people buy a bird or a ham already prepared, and the same is true for the side dishes.

Dear Abby: Recently, my wife suggested I write my own obituary (I am almost 80) as her parents did. Because I remember dates and places she didn’t know, I drafted the document. Everything in it is accurate, but I emphasized the positive and omitted the negative. Previous marriages? My wife thought mentioning them seemed like I was bragging, although it is factually accurate and the way I would like to be remembered. We haven’t been able to settle our differing views. What do you think? — Accurate in the West

Dear Accurate: Not everyone wants to advertise the fact that they have had multiple marriages, but facts are facts. If this is how you wish to be remembered, it is YOUR obituary. You have the deciding vote, and your wife should refrain from making any more editorial comments.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com

Sporting Kansas City puts an end to Loons’ playoff hopes

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Minnesota United went into Saturday night’s game at Sporting Kansas City knowing that a win could still take them into the playoffs.

Unfortunately for the Loons, the game was still taking place in Kansas.

MNUFC lost 3-1 Saturday, its ninth loss in nine regular-season tries against SKC on the road, and ended the year outside the postseason for the first time since 2018.

The Loons have endured plenty of upheaval this season. Their star player, Emanuel Reynoso, was suspended for most of the first half of the year, due to an unexcused absence from the team. In the stretch run, they went seven matches without a win, a stumble that led to the firing of longtime coach Adrian Heath.

In the end, it was all too much for Minnesota to overcome, and the Loons couldn’t claim a playoff spot on the season’s final day, as they did in 2021 and 2022.

Minnesota began the game in a different formation, playing three midfielders and three forwards, instead of their customary two and four. Interim manager Sean McAuley was clearly hoping to outnumber Kansas City in the midfield — but no formation could prevent simple defensive breakdowns.

Sporting KC’s first goal came in the 28th minute, courtesy of longtime Loon-killer Johnny Russell. The left-footed winger picked up the ball on the right edge of the Minnesota penalty area, cut past MNUFC midfielder Ján Gregus and drove a shot past Dayne St. Clair and inside the far post of the Minnesota net.

It was a goal that the forward must have scored dozens of times before in MLS. “We spoke about Johnny Russell, when he’s on that right-hand side he wants to cut in, so try and keep him outside and take him to his right foot,” McAuley said.

The second SKC goal came less than three minutes later, and it looked no better for the Minnesota defense. Dániel Sallói swung in a cross from the left side of the field, and Rémi Walter — running into wide-open space in the Loons’ penalty area — had a simple finish, all alone in front of the net. Gregus failed to track Walter’s run from the midfield, and left back Bakaye Dibassy was unable to react in time to alter the shot.

“I would have expected that runner to be tracked,” McAuley said.

Russell sealed the game in the 78th minute, with his second goal of the night. The winger blocked a Michael Boxall clearing attempt in the Loons’ penalty area, then poked the rebound under St. Clair. The winger has five goals and 10 assists in his career against Minnesota, seemingly all of them at Children’s Mercy Park.

Boxall stole a late consolation goal for Minnesota, heading home a Reynoso free kick to make the scoreline slightly more flattering for the Loons.

Heath came into the season as the only Western Conference coach who could boast four consecutive playoff appearances — but also having finished in the top 10 in the league just once, in 2019. In the end, he didn’t have a chance to claim a fifth consecutive berth. The lack of postseason soccer, plus the departure of Heath and technical director Mark Watson, will now give Minnesota something it hasn’t had since the club moved to MLS in 2017: a reset.

Whether a clean slate in the soccer department will help kickstart the franchise, which has punched above its weight but claimed no trophies in its first seven years of MLS existence, remains to be seen.

“It’s a really interesting time for the club, an inflection point for them,” said Wil Trapp, who captained the Loons on the night, but may have played his last game for the club. “Whatever comes next is the next iteration, and I think it’s a wonderful opportunity for the club to take the next step and see what we can do and what we can achieve.”

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Wild erase two deficits but fall to Blue Jackets in OT

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Before the Wild’s game against the Columbus Blue Jackets on Saturday night, coach Dean Evason mentioned that he and his staff weren’t crazy about the team’s starts in the season’s first four games.

They couldn’t have been happy with Saturday’s start, either.

After essentially chasing the puck for half an hour, the Wild woke up and started taking the initiative and erasing two-goal and one-goal deficits to force overtime. Still, it wasn’t enough.

Jack Roslovic skated between three Wild players to score the winner, with less than two minutes left in overtime to lift the Blue Jackets to a 5-4 victory and drop the Wild to 2-3-0 this season.

Marcus Johansson tied the game, 4-4, late in the third period, and Filip Gustavsson, under siege all night, extended the game into OT and finished with 49 saves.

Mats Zuccarello scored his first goal of the season — and had another erased by an offsides challenge — and defensemen Jonas Brodin and Daktoa Mermis also scored for the Wild, who improved to 3-2-0 this season.

Columbus rookie Adam Fantilli gave the Blue Jackets a 4-3 lead with a wrist shot from the circle with 5:59 remaining, but Johansson ended a long forecheck with a shot through traffic to tie the game at 17:01.

Brodin, camped in the slot on a forecheck, scored the go-ahead goal, bounding a puck off the right arm of Elvis Merzlikins after taking a soft pass from Joel Eriksson Ek 4 minutes and 42 seconds into the third period.

Boone Jenner tied the game 3-3 when he found a rebound in the slot and swiped it into an almost empty net at 7:36 of the third period, but Pat Maroon skated a puck into the crease and drew a tripping penalty and the Wild appeared to retake the lead on the ensuing power play.

Zuccarello slipped a wrist shot through traffic that beat Merzlikins high far corner, but Columbus challenged offsides and won. The NHL determined Johansson had preceded the puck into the zone on his entry. It was the third time a Wild goal has been challenged this season, and the second time one was taken away.

For the most part, Columbus dictated play for all of the first period and the early part of the second. The Wild mounted few chances and struggled to get its cycle going, instead chasing the Blue Jackets early.

With the Wild scrambling in their own zone, the Blue Jackets took a 1-0 lead when Justin Danforth gathered his own rebound and poked it into the corner past Filip Gustavsson at 14:06 of the first period.

Columbus broke up a lackluster start to the second period when Kent Johnson took a pass from Cole Sillinger above the right circle and snapped off a shot that found the far side of the net at 6:10 for a 2-0 lead.

That seemed to wake up the somnambulating Wild.

A minute later, the Wild were cycling in the Columbus zone when Mermis sent a wrist shot through traffic and it beat a screened Elvis Merzlikins to cut the Blue Jackets’ lead to 2-1 at 7:21.

Less than a minute later, Wild center Ryan Hartman won a battle on the boards and fired a quick pass to Zuccarello in the high slot. The winger fired a slap shot that found the far side of the net to tie the game 2-2 at 8:15. It was his first goal of the season after piling up six assists in four games.

‘Fine me.’ Hawkeyes coach Kirk Ferentz fired up over controversial call in loss to Gophers

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IOWA CITY, Iowa — Kirk Ferentz didn’t waste any time speaking his mind in his postgame news conference on Saturday.

The Iowa Hawkeyes’ head coach immediately talked about the controversial penalty for invalid fair catch signal that took away Cooper DeJean’s 54-yard punt return touchdown in the Gophers’ 12-10 win at Kinnick Stadium.

IOWA CITY, IOWA- OCTOBER 21: Defensive back Cooper DeJean #3 of the Iowa Hawkeyes breaks a tackle during a called-back touchdown kick return during the second half by long snapper Brady Weeks #37 of the Minnesota Golden Gophers at Kinnick Stadium on October 21, 2023 in Iowa City, Iowa. (Photo by Matthew Holst/Getty Images)

“If the Big Ten deems it necessary to fine me, hopefully they will find it in their hearts to send it to a good cause — like the (University of Iowa) children’s hospital,” Ferentz started.

Ferentz started off saying he thought the officials’ review on whether DeJean stepped out of bounds was fair use of the newer process. “But then somehow we went from there to a whole series of topics,” the longest-tenured Big Ten coach said. “It’s really hard to accept the explanation that we got.”

Big Ten referee Tim O’Dey said an invalid signal is “any waving motion by a receiving team member.” Replay shows DeJean did that with his left arm as the ball was bouncing near midfield and he was approaching it. Ferentz somehow questioned DeJean’s hand movement.

“If you look at the video you’ll see that,” O’Dey said to a pool reporter. “That waving motion of the left hand constitutes an invalid fair catch signal. So when the receiving team recovers the ball, by rule it becomes dead.

“That is a reviewable element of the game,” O’Dey continued. “We let the play run out and then when we went to review, review shows with indisputable evidence that there is a waving motion with the left hand. And that is when these rules are applied.”

That’s where Ferentz might have been scratching his head most.

“How we got from Point A to Point B, I have no idea,” he said. “I don’t know what the path was. I’ve heard the explanation, recording of it. It’s hard to make it make sense.”

Gophers head coach P.J. Fleck stood on the sideline near midfield during that punt return and shared his up-closer view.

“My eyes immediately go back there,” Fleck said of DeJean. “I thought it was a fair catch signal. I’m not an official, right, but there was something. We’ve been called for that before, where we’ve made any type of movement prior to the catch. Then the ball is dead right there. But if it wasn’t, it was a heck of a play by the kid, a heck of a play.”

Ferentz added: “Credit to our opponent. Their effort was good. I thought our guys played hard. Just tough to find the right words to say to our team after something like that.”

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