Review: ‘Beetlejuice Beetlejuice’ has Michael Keaton and everything going for it, except the funny

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Revisit the 1988 “Beetlejuice” if you haven’t lately. It’s stranger, jankier, funnier and try-anything-er than you may recall. As the freelance bio-exorcist Betelgeuse, aka Beetlejuice, Michael Keaton delivered wondrous combinations of subtle vocal throwaways and outlandish visual invention as both participant and heckler in his own paranormal comedy. Director Tim Burton, hot off “Pee-wee’s Big Adventure,” reportedly considered casting Sammy Davis Jr. in the role, among others. But it was kismet for Keaton, and for Winona Ryder as the grieving, healing Lydia Deetz, as well as a crack supporting ensemble seemingly assembled in some sort of dream.

There’s a lot more Keaton in the 36-years-later reboot “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice,” which pays off in terms of a great and versatile star’s screen time. But holy cats, is this movie disappointing! I mean really not good enough! Some people, Burton fans many of them, slag off Burton projects like the live-action “Dumbo” or the feature “Dark Shadows.”  While many disagree, given the wide but generally admiring critical response to “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice” in its world premiere last week at the 81st Venice International Film Festival, this one, for me, ranks right down there with “Dumbo.” It is not enough to make a swole version of the first “Beetlejuice,” at somewhere around 14 times the original’s $15 million product budget. With the effects upgrades and joyless bombast taking over, did the comedy ever have a chance?

Now the mother of teenage Astrid (Jenna Ortega), ghost-friendly Lydia hosts a successful reality/talk show produced by her smarmy fiancee (Justin Theroux). The show is a haunted-house affair, featuring standoffs between supernatural and super-normal inhabitants of the same domiciles, with Lydia acting as “psychic mediator.” The tragic death of Lydia’s father leaves Astrid bereft and also skeptical: If mom’s TV shtick is genuine, why can’t she make afterlife contact with Astrid’s grandfather?

When Beetlejuice enters the story, he’s still smitten with Lydia. Beyond that, his ex-wife Delores (Monica Bellucci), determined to exact revenge on her dirty dog of a former husband, goes about sucking the souls out of humans who get in her way. There’s more to the screenplay by Alfred Gough and Miles Millar, including Astrid meeting a sweet fellow outsider (Arthur Conti), and Willem Dafoe’s deceased but lively detective — an actor who played a detective when he was alive, so why stop now?

Burton’s design teams remain among the finest commercial film creatives working, and there are some visual ideas and images in “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice” that hit that elusive sweet spot between the macabre and the wittily macabre only a Burton movie can manage. When Keaton sails into a flashback reverie about how he and Delores met and then broke up, it’s depicted in the operatically intense style of an Italian gallo horror melodrama. Elsewhere we get bits of the cramped “Cabinet of Dr. Caligari” German Expressionism in the scenic design, which is amusing. More clinically impressive than amusing: the sight of Bellucci’s formerly dismembered Delores reattaching her own limbs with a staple gun.

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What’s missing is not simply surprise, or the pleasurable shock of a new kind of ghost comedy. It’s the near-complete absence of verbal wit, all the more frustrating since Keaton is ready to play, and he’s hardly alone. The legendarily gifted Catherine O’Hara returns as Lydia’s stepmother Delia, as haughty as ever. But we keep waiting for the jokes to land — to do their job, in other words. Without a fresh take on familiar material, director Burton makes do with his own detours and let’s-try-this-for-a-while segments, including a torturous musical sequence backed by the song “MacArthur Park” that goes on approximately forever. Then there’s a “Soul Train” riff, which feels way, way off, taste-wise and big-ending-dance-party wise.

It can’t hold a candle, in other words, to the happy ending of the first “Beetlejuice,” which found human and otherworld cohabitants of the same old house on the hill living in peace and harmony, with Harry Belafonte’s rendition of the Calypso classic “Jump in the Line” providing the backbeat. I’m sure this sequel will do well enough. But it’s a helluva comedown, and seeing “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice” in a huge opening-night crowd at the Venice festival, I didn’t hear much in the way of actual laughter, proving that a couple of hundred million can buy you almost anything. Almost.

“Beetle Beetlejuice” — 1.5 stars (out of 4)

MPA rating: PG-13 (for violent content, macabre and bloody images, strong language, some suggestive material and brief drug use)

Running time: 1:44

How to watch: Premieres in theaters Sept. 5

Michael Phillips is a Tribune critic.

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4 easy dinners for a new school year

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Gretchen McKay | Pittsburgh Post-Gazette (TNS)

PITTSBURGH — No one likes to say goodbye to summer, but there’s no denying a new school year can be pretty exciting.

After chilling by the pool, sleeping in late and traveling with family on vacation, it’s fun for kids to be back with their friends. And what parent or caregiver doesn’t like the predictability of returning to weekday routines?

That said, getting back to a dependable daily schedule can take some time for mom or dad, who often are rushing home from work to prepare dinner, help with homework or get kids to and from practices.

One easy out is takeout. Nobody is going to judge you for grabbing a supermarket rotisserie chicken or bag of drive-thru burgers and fries. All five of my kids ate Sir Pizza — every single Friday — from kindergarten through high school, and it’s a must-have dish whenever they’re in town for a visit.

Yet, a homemade dinner is almost always cheaper than feeding the family with fast food — even with today’s high grocery prices. And it’s often just as quick, if not faster.

Plus, it just makes your house smell great. And if you get the kids to pitch in, kudos to you for helping them learn important life skills and encouraging family bonding.

The four simple, economical recipes that follow take 30 minutes or less to prepare. That leaves you free to finish up the week with Pizza Night on Friday.

Canned pineapple, soy sauce, and a drizzle of honey create a lip-smacking sweet-and-sour sauce in this simple pork dish. (Gretchen McKay/Pittsburgh Post-Gazette/TNS)

Easy Sweet and Sour Pork

PG tested

Who doesn’t like a tasty stir-fry? This one hangs its hat on boneless pork tenderloin, a tender cut that is easy to find in any grocery store. If you’re feeling adventurous and it’s on sale, substitute fresh chopped pineapple for canned. Serve over white or brown rice or noodles.

2 cloves garlic, halved
1 1/2 -inch piece root ginger, peeled and roughly chopped
2 tablespoons tomato puree
2 tablespoons rice vinegar
4 tablespoons soy sauce
1 tablespoon honey
15-ounce can pineapple chunks in juice, drained, juice reserved
1 teaspoon sesame oil
1 red onion, chopped
1 pork tenderloin (about 1 pound 2 ounces) thinly sliced
2 red, yellow or orange bell peppers, deseeded and chopped

Make sauce: Put the garlic and ginger in a mini chopper or blender with the tomato puree, rice vinegar, soy sauce, honey and pineapple chunks with their juice, and blend until smooth.

Put sesame oil in a saute pan over high heat and stir-fry the onion until tender, about 2 minutes.

Add pork slices and peppers. Reduce heat to medium. Stir-fry for 10 minutes.

Add sauce from the mini chopper or blender to pan and simmer for 15 minutes. Serve with noodles, rice or side dish of your choice.

Serves 4.

— “Easy Meals Every Day: Healthy Dinners for the Whole Family” by Pip Payne (Hamlyn, $26.99)

Tuck ground beef and cheese into a flour tortilla for an easy cheeseburger quesadilla. Pickles and secret sauce optional. (Gretchen McKay/Pittsburgh Post-Gazette/TNS)

Cheeseburger Quesadillas

PG tested

Quesadillas can be customized to any taste or flavor combination. Here, the hand-held comfort food is made with all your favorite cheeseburger fixings folded inside a flour tortilla — ground beef, cheddar, onion and dill pickles. They’re served with a mayonnaise-based “special sauce.”

For the special sauce

1/2 cup mayonnaise
2 tablespoons ketchup
2 tablespoons minced dill pickles
1 teaspoon yellow mustard
1 tablespoon minced white onion or shallot
2 teaspoons white vinegar

For burger

1 pound ground beef (80/20 blend)
8 8-inch flour tortillas
2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
1 small white onion, chopped
Dill pickle chips and/or pickled jalapeño peppers
Shredded lettuce, for garnish

Prepare sauce: In small bowl, stir together mayonnaise, ketchup, minced pickles, mustard, onion, vinegar and salt and pepper to taste. Set aside.

Cook beef until browned and cooked through, about 6-8 minutes, in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Drain well.

Wipe out skillet with a paper towel, then lightly coat with nonstick spray. Bring pan back to medium heat. Working with one tortilla at a time, add to skillet.

Fill 1 tortilla with 1/2 cup cheddar cheese, 1/4 of the cooked beef, chopped onion, dill pickle slices and pickled jalapeño, if using.

Top with a second tortilla and cook until cheese is melted and tortilla is golden brown on one side, about 2 minutes.

Using a spatula, flip quesadilla and continue cooking on other side until all the cheese is melted and the second side is golden brown.

Transfer to a plate and cover with foil to keep warm.

Repeat with remaining tortillas, cheddar, beef, onions and pickles. Cut each quesadilla into four pieces and stack on each of the four plates.

Garnish with shredded lettuce, and serve with special sauce for dipping.

Serves 4.

— Gretchen McKay, Post-Gazette

This one-pan honey-lemon chicken can be served over rice or your favorite pasta. (Gretchen McKay/Pittsburgh Post-Gazette/TNS)

Honey Lemon Chicken

PG tested

This fresh and zesty chicken saute takes less than 20 minutes to prepare. It can be served with pasta, rice or any other favorite grain. For added heat, add a tablespoon of sweet chili sauce or a dash or Sriracha.

2 large chicken breasts, sliced in half horizontally
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon sweet or hot paprika
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
2 garlic cloves, minced
1/2 cup chicken stock
4 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
3 tablespoons honey
1 lemon, sliced into half moons
1 tablespoon chopped parsley, for garnish
Cooked rice, spaghetti or orzo, for serving

Place chicken fillets on a plate or a metal tray. Mix together flour, salt, pepper and paprika. Coat both sides of the chicken with the flour mixture.

Heat oil and butter in a large frying pan or skillet over medium-high heat until butter melts.

Add chicken to the pan and cook for 7-8 minutes, turning once, until both sides are golden brown.

Add garlic, stir for 30 seconds (don’t let it burn), then add the chicken stock, lemon juice, honey and lemon slices.

Bring to a boil and simmer for 5 minutes until the sauce is slightly reduced. (Simmer for a few minutes longer if you want it thicker.)

Sprinkle with fresh parsley and serve with rice or pasta.

— “Quick & Easy: Delicious 30-Minute Dinners” by Nicky Corbishley (Kyle Books, $26.99)

This easy skillet eggplant parmesan is made in one pan, with fresh sauce and shredded mozzarella. (Gretchen McKay/Pittsburgh Post-Gazette/TNS)

Skillet Eggplant Parmesan

PG tested

This vegetarian dish is so good and so easy! Made in a skillet instead of a casserole dish using canned tomatoes and sandwich bread, it’s both quick and economical.

Look for eggplants that are lightly firm and have shiny skin; they won’t continue ripening after they’ve been picked.

For sauce

2 14.5-ounce cans whole peeled tomatoes, drained, with juice reserved
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
2 garlic cloves, minced
1/2 teaspoon salt

For eggplant

6 slices high-quality white sandwich bread, torn into quarters
3/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1/2 teaspoon salt, divided
1/2 teaspoon pepper, divided
3 large eggs
1 cup unbleached all-purpose flour
2 globe eggplants (about 12 ounces each), sliced into 1/4 -inch-thick rounds
1 cup vegetable oil
8 ounces shredded mozzarella
1/3 chopped fresh basil, optional

Make sauce: Process tomatoes, olive oil, garlic and salt together in food processor until pureed, about 15 seconds.

Transfer mixture to liquid measuring cup and add reserved tomato juice as needed until sauce measures 2 cups.

Prepare eggplant: Adjust oven rack to lower-middle position and heat oven to 425 degrees.

Pulse bread in food processor to fine, even crumbs, about 15 pulses. Transfer crumbs to pie plate and stir in 1/2 cup Parmesan, 1/4 teaspoon salt and 1/4 teaspoon pepper. Beat eggs in a shallow bowl or plate.

Combine flour and remaining 1/4 teaspoon pepper in large zipper-lock bag.

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Four easy dinners for a new school year

Place eggplant slices in bag of flour, shake bag to coat, then remove eggplant from bag and shake off excess flour. Using tongs, coat floured eggplant with egg mixture, allowing excess to drip off.

Coat all sides of eggplant with bread crumbs, using your fingers to help them adhere. Lay breaded eggplant slices on wire rack set over rimmed baking sheet.

Heat half of the oil in 12-inch, oven-safe, nonstick skillet over medium heat until shimmering.

Add half of breaded eggplant slices and cook until well browned on both sides, about 4 minutes, flipping halfway through cooking.

Transfer eggplant to wire rack and repeat with remaining breaded eggplant, adding oil as needed. (You might not need the entire 1/2 cup oil.)

Pour off oil left in skillet and wipe out skillet with paper towels. Spread 1 cup of tomato sauce over bottom of skillet and layer eggplant slices evenly, overlapping them slightly.

Dollop remaining 1 cup sauce on top of eggplant and sprinkle with remaining 1/4 cup Parmesan and mozzarella.

Transfer skillet to oven and bake until bubbling and cheese is browned, 13-15 minutes. Let cool for 5 minutes, then sprinkle with basil, if using, and serve.

Serves 4.

— adapted from “The Complete Cooking for Two Cookbook” (America’s Test Kitchen, $34.99)

©2024 PG Publishing Co. Visit at post-gazette.com. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

‘Slow Horses’ review: In Season 4, what happens when an old spy isn’t as sharp as he once was?

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“Slow Horses” returns on Apple TV+ and the misfits and losers of Britain’s MI5 domestic counterintelligence agency — collectively known as the slow horses, a sneering nickname that speaks to their perceived uselessness — find themselves working a case yet again. This time it involves their fellow reject River Cartwright and his far more respected grandfather, the former head of MI5. Once sharp, the old man has become disoriented lately, and when a visitor arrives at his quiet rural home, he greets them with the business end of a shotgun. Blood is spilled and the cavalry is called. Was it all a big mistake? Or is something more sinister going on connected to his bygone days on the job? The slovenly Jackson Lamb, the exquisite Diana Taverner and the assorted slow horses must figure it out.

Based on Mick Herron’s Slough House book series — named for the dingy London headquarters where the slow horses have been banished —  Season 4 adapts the 2017 novel “Spook Street.” It begins with a bang, as David Cartwright (Jonathan Pryce) blows away someone he believes has infiltrated his home. Who the hell did he just kill?

Lamb (Gary Oldman) arrives and, with typical unemotional disinterest, IDs the body. Chances are, he’s lying about whose corpse lies splayed in that bathtub. It’s a choice that has all the hallmarks of the simple but necessary subterfuge that is Lamb’s stock in trade.

Meanwhile, a car bomb has exploded in London and Taverner (Kristin Scott Thomas, formidable as ever) is tasked with finding out what happened and preventing any further incidents. One of the long-running jokes of the series is that, as MI5’s No. 2, the top job remains forever just out of reach. That means she’s stuck answering to intellectually inferior men and she can’t help but cop an attitude in her own pristine way. But it’s never clear what drives her. Does she actually care about preventing carnage and something as squishy as … human lives? “There isn’t a big picture to running an intelligence agency,” she sighs, “it’s just putting out fires every bloody day.” Maybe she’s just obsessed with the job and the power it confers.

Somehow the car bomb and that death in David Cartwright’s home are connected, which necessitates a sojourn to France, where someone has tried to raise a small army of killers from birth. For what purpose? Unclear. But this ragtag paramilitary operation has fallen apart now that its members have grown into adults. What remains are just a few thugs, but their leader (Hugo Weaving) has an important connection to old man Cartwright and lingering resentments have a way of, well, lingering. Weaving is especially good as an entirely realistic villain, playing him with an American accent and an American sense of entitlement. It is a wonderfully grounded contrast to his similarly nefarious Agent Smith from “The Matrix” franchise. A more complex performance, too.

If the show’s third season was unusually obsessed with guns, the violence here erupts with more thought and narrative purpose and it doesn’t overstay its welcome. As a series, “Slow Horses” doesn’t offer tightly plotted, clockwork spy stories; think too deeply about any of the details and the whole thing threatens to fall apart. But on a scene-by-scene basis, the writing is such a delicious combination of wry and tension-filled, and the cumulative effect is wonderfully entertaining. Spies have to deal with petty office politics like everyone else!

Even so, I remain unconvinced the show knows what to do with its various slow horses. Outside of River Cartwright (Jack Lowden), who is intense and droll, they are too one-dimensional to justify their screen time. The rancid charisma of Lamb (who seems slightly less putrid this season; he’s still a greasy mess, but the dark overcoat he wears pulls him together in a way that his rumpled raincoat never did) and Taverner’s wily gamesmanship do much of the heavy lifting. Oldman and Thomas are the kind of seasoned performers who bring real vitality to their knives-out dynamic, which more or less repeats itself each season. That’s not a complaint. “Slow Horses” doesn’t pretend that the series or its characters need to evolve in order to remain interesting. Tackling a new case each season, while keeping the same format and framework, is enormously satisfying when done well. And it’s one of the few shows that has avoided the dreaded one or two year delay between seasons that has become standard for streaming. Instead, it provides the kind of reliability that has become increasingly rare. It probably helps that each season is based on one of Herron’s books.

A consistent theme in “Slow Horses” is that the younger generation — even the non-screwups at The Park, Slough House’s upscale counterpart — aren’t especially good at this spy stuff. At least, they’re no match for the cagey instincts and hard-won experience of Lamb and Taverner and anyone else who cut their teeth during the Cold War. It’s not that the old guard are invulnerable, they’re just smarter somehow. The newer generation? One bad guy manages to pull off an ambush that thwarts all their training. Herron and the show aren’t just cynical about MI5’s corruption, they’re cynical about the agency’s ability to do anything even remotely resembling the job at hand.

“Slow Horses” Season 4 — 3 stars (out of 4)

Where to watch: Apple TV+

Nina Metz is a Tribune critic.

Kristina Foltz: What Biden can do to free Venezuela of Nicolás Maduro’s illegitimate regime

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With flags and voting receipts in hand, thousands of Venezuelans have taken to the streets in Caracas and worldwide to protest Nicolás Maduro’s refusal to recognize his overwhelming defeat in the presidential election a month ago. The United States can do more to back them up.

The opposition party’s leader, María Corina Machado, recently came out of hiding to ride through the streets among throngs of demonstrators. Emerging from an armored truck, she urged her supporters to maintain their courage, defend the truth and ramp up defiance against Maduro’s fraudulent regime. Calling the protests the “greatest civic feat in the history of the country,” Machado warned that the movement would not relent.

After Maduro ordered his military leaders to respond to the protesters with an ” iron fist,” at least 24 were found dead and 2,200 were imprisoned. Undaunted, opposition leaders plan to keep a critical mass on the streets, lure military leaders to their side and drain the dictator’s resources and power. But to achieve all that, they will need all the help they can get from Washington.

The Biden administration has expressed openness to negotiations with Caracas, but Maduro has shown he can’t be trusted to abide by his agreements. After talks with the United States in Qatar last year, Maduro’s government promised to allow free and fair elections. It turned out to be another bluff: Not only was the election stunningly unfair, but Maduro responded to the result by cracking down on opposition leaders and their supporters.

Waiting for intervention by Maduro’s fellow leftists in Colombia, Brazil and Mexico, meanwhile, will only buy the dictator more time for deception and repression.

The Biden administration has alluded to the possibility of offering Maduro amnesty from prosecution on drug trafficking charges if he agrees to a peaceful transfer of power. But given his past failures to comply with international agreements, and with four long months left in his term, that “carrot” probably won’t be enough to dislodge the strongman. The United States and other foreign powers will have to threaten him with “sticks,” imposing economic and diplomatic consequences to push him out of power.

The harshest possible sanctions must be leveled against Maduro and all state-owned industries to make an exit plan his best option. Hector Briceño, a Venezuelan postdoctoral researcher at Germany’s University of Rostock, told me that although sanctions on private business could hurt ordinary Venezuelans, targeting state-owned enterprises such as the country’s petroleum industry can be effective when the regime is as cash-starved as it is now.

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“Profits from the petroleum industry don’t reach the people,” Briceño said. “Maduro spreads them between his allies among the military and other top officials.”

Maduro’s regime, like that of his predecessor, Hugo Chávez, operates on a top-down system of bribes and threats. The threats alone work for only so long; at some point, Maduro’s minions will expect to be paid.

In April, responding to Maduro’s interference with and intimidation of the opposition ahead of the election, President Biden reinstated some of the Trump-era sanctions that had been eased following the Qatar deal. But the administration indicated that it would allow certain foreign oil operations to continue in the country.

The Maduro government’s objections to the reimposition of sanctions showed that they have an impact, but his continued intransigence also reveals that they haven’t gone far enough to affect his behavior. And this is the worst moment to be generous with the regime. Why not hold up authorizations of the remaining low-yield, risky and environmentally hazardous foreign oil ventures, at least until a democratic government is in place?

Washington should also officially recognize Edmundo González Urrutia as the country’s rightful incoming leader. The Biden administration has joined a few other countries in acknowledging that González won the election, but it stopped short of calling him the president-elect.

The administration can’t necessarily ensure that Venezuela’s valiant struggle for liberty prevails. But doing less than it can will only help Maduro and his cronies get richer and bolder in prolonging their hold on political power.

The stakes couldn’t be higher. Nearly 8 million Venezuelans have migrated to the United States and other countries in search of a better future, and 40% of those remaining say they plan to leave if Maduro doesn’t. A once-thriving economy has been devastated by years of inept and corrupt rule, and the country has become a haven for institutionalized crime and terrorism and a security threat to the entire hemisphere.

The brave Venezuelan resistance isn’t giving up, and the United States shouldn’t either. This is a golden opportunity to end 25 years of misery under Chávez and Maduro.

Kristina Foltz is a researcher and writer based in California and Colombia. She wrote this column for the Los Angeles Times.