February in Minnesota is not merely cold. It is a form of hostile weather engineered to test the limits of human endurance. Around here, a “heat wave” is anything above zero; it’s a place where your mittens have mittens. Just walking from your car to the front door constitutes a minor expedition, with frost forming on every exposed inch of skin. Not only can you see your breath, you could, if you were so inclined, snap it over your knee and use it to chill a Mountain Dew for several hours.

So naturally, this was the month I decided to stand on the roof of the school in nothing but a diaper and a red cape.

Yes. A diaper. And a red cape. In sub-zero weather. Let that sink in.

It was just after sunrise, the pale, unforgiving light spilling across the parking lot as the first yellow buses rumbled in, their engines doing little to combat the cold. There I stood — your mostly exposed janitor — awaiting hundreds of little scholars, ready to pour inside with brains full of knowledge and no idea what horrors awaited them on the roof.

Because February is “I Love to Read Month,” and what better way to kick things off than by becoming a half-naked superhero I barely even knew anything about — except that he almost certainly did not live in Minnesota.

I was Captain Underpants: Frostbite Edition.

February is also every elementary school custodian’s least favorite month. Salt stains in the hallways, snow tracked in like we were hosting the Winter Olympics, boilers wheezing like an elderly donkey with an asthma condition, and a calendar bursting with “I Love to Read” events.

Someone — I blame the Media Center Specialist — thought it would be a good idea to kick things off with a bang. She was probably thinking: Hmm … who could we get to stand on the roof, at 10 below, almost naked, and get our students excited about “I Love to Read Month”? Who has no sense of self-preservation and will probably do anything if we sneak chocolate chip cookies into the deal? Ah, yes … I know just the man. This will be wild, for sure, cutting-edge, perhaps. Brilliant? Absolutely. This has Mr Glende written all over it.

So there I was, atop the roof, in a giant homemade diaper and red cape, playing none other than the great literary hero Captain Underpants.

Keep in mind, this was before adult diapers were a thing. If you wanted to fashion a size-XXL undergarment, one had to become an amateur engineer, a seamstress, and, I suspect, a minor sorcerer. I raided the custodial supply closet in ways Mr. Whipple would never have approved of.

At the time, it seemed like a brilliant plan to get kids excited about reading. Looking back, would I do it again? The jury is still out. The kids howled. The teachers laughed. The principal gave me two thumbs up.  The district office … not so much. Apparently, having an adult male with more than his guy thighs exposed, waving at children from a rooftop in a diaper and cape is frowned upon. Who knew?

And then the local paper got wind of it. Soon enough, my Captain Underpants body was splashed across the front page, framed as if I were either a folk hero or a public menace. I might as well have tacked my photograph on the post office wall next to the “Most Wanted” posters.

But the kids loved it. Years later, when I run into former students, it’s never, “Hey, Mr. Glende, remember when I puked in Science class, and you had to clean it up?” No. It’s always, “Remember when you were Captain Underpants on the roof?”

Sometimes, custodians are more than a mop and a ring of keys. Like Captain Underpants, who drank Extra-Strength Super Power Juice to gain his powers, I got mine from a pre-dawn chug of Mountain Dew. For one glorious, frostbitten morning, I wasn’t just the guy who fixed leaky sinks, shoveled snow and whispered to the boilers.

By the time the last bus had dropped off its precious cargo, my diaper was crunchy, my cape frozen into something resembling a roofing shingle, and I couldn’t feel my tongue. I was asking myself, “Do school custodians do this in Florida? Where’s the fun in that?”

But to the kids, I wasn’t just a janitor. I was Captain Underpants: Frostbite Edition — a frozen, slightly ridiculous, but wholly heroic figure in the cruel, magnificent theater of February.

Mark Glende, Rosemount, is an elementary school custodian. “I write about real-life stories with a slight twist of humor,” he says. “I’m not smart enough to make this stuff up.”

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Take your pick of genres this week. We’ve got nonfiction about homelessness and St. Paul’s early settlers, plus fiction from a bestselling Norwegian writer.

(Courtesy of Small Pond Books)

“Not So Far From Home: Owning Homelessness in My Own Backyard”: by Charlie Quimby (Small Pond Books, $19.95)

Charlie Quimby (Courtesy of the author)

Who is the smiling man on the cover of this involving book about volunteering at places helping the homeless? And why is he holding a big bunch of keys? You’ll have to read Quimby’s first-person account to find out.

Quimby divides his time between his native Grand Junction, Colo., and Minneapolis, where he worked with Peace House Community and People Serving People.

If Quimby’s name sounds familiar and you are on social media, you might have run into his stories about cutting hair in his blog Across the Great Divide. What’s so interesting about his experiences is that he walks the fine line as both participant in the daily lives of men and women who need help and as nonjudgmental observer. A thread running through the book is his concerns as a writer. How far can he go in telling clients’ stories? Should he reveal he’s a writer to those who don’t know him? Most writers need conclusions to stories. But Quimby can’t do that  because so many of his clients are transients.

Quimby acknowledges homelessness is a problem, but volunteers can make a difference doing such simple acts as cutting the hair of a man who hasn’t taken his hat off all winter. His message — we have to see these men and women as human beings and not a societal problem. They are as diverse as any population.

Volunteers often are needed for low-level jobs that Quimby does willingly, including keeping track of how long a person is taking for a shower, arbitrating the line for use of two bathrooms, and moderating use of washers and driers. Also, lots of vacuuming. When he’s with pre-kindergartners he invents games, reads to a kid who’s moved several times and needs a warm lap, and spends a lot of time assisting with hand-washing. When a child leaves, he hopes all will go well with the family.

Once a week, Quimby facilitated discussions among clients, asking big questions about life, death and their philosophies of life. These conversations might surprise those who think of unhoused men and women as not too bright, drunk or somehow lesser. Mostly, the folks he quotes in these Big Issues conversations are as thoughtful as anyone in a middle-class living room.

Quimby found his calling as a “street barber” while volunteering at the Day Center in Grand Junction: While carefully cutting hair in whatever style the person wanted, he listened to stories from his clients because not many people listen to the homeless.

Don’t expect to see the phrase “colorful characters” here. By the time you finish his book you will see that phrase as a stereotype of a population that makes news only when a tent camp is pulled down by government. This book should change that perception.

Quimby is the author of novels “Monument Road” and “Inhabited.” His writing career has spanned plays, newspapers, corporate communications, speech writing and public policy think tanks.

Teaser quote: “The people who pass through the Peace House doors come for asylum, not to be analyzed. In telling these stories, I am neither a mental health expert nor a dispassionate reporter; disorders or personal failings are not my material to share. I observe with an eye for their resilience, humor, intelligence. and generosity – and depict how these good qualities persist despite trauma, bad luck, poverty, social stigma, and structural injustice.”

“Wolf Hour”: by Jo Nesbo (Knopf, $30)

Jo Nesbo lives in Oslo, but we consider him an honorary Minnesotan because his crime/mystery novels are so popular here, including the Harry Hole series set in his home country. “Wolf Hour” is a stand-alone thriller, his first set entirely in Minneapolis, where Nesbo stayed for months researching the story and navigating the city to ensure authenticity. The story is told through two timelines, six years apart, as a Norwegian detective and crime writer investigates a string of murders that begins with the murder of a small-time criminal and gun dealer who is shot down in the street. It grows more perplexing as the body count rises. It is filled with understated commentary on American politics, including gun control, as well as very unusual characters

Nesbo’s Harry Hole novels inspired a Netflix series premiering later this year. His books have sold 60 million copies worldwide and he is recipient of the Raymond Chandler award, Italy’s highest literary honor.

Teaser quote: “Bob groaned and started to walk, once again cursing the fact that Minneapolis and Saint Paul were the biggest urban centers in the country without a subway system. It was too far to walk all the way home to Phillips. But he ought to be able to make it as far as Dinkytown, and from there he could pick up a bus outside Bernie’s Bar.”

(Courtesy of Sky Blue Waters Publishing)

“Saints and Sinners: The Pioneers of Saint Paul”: by Gary Brueggemann (Sky Blue Publishing, $41.68)

This detailed history of St. Paul is 736 pages long, not counting index and notes. It is surely the most thorough history of our city. Beginning 200 years ago, it is the culmination of historian Brueggemann’s 50-year career of studying Minnesota.

The book’s 10 chapters begin with frontier settling (“The Land of Little Crow”), continuing through the founding of Fort Snelling, first settlers in the land that became St. Paul, the treaty that triggered the rise of the city, Pig’s Eye Parrant and the rise of the Fountain Cave settlement, and the founding of St. Paul.

In an afterword, there are biographies of people well known to us (and some forgotten) who played a part in our city’s history. It begins with Major Lawrence Taliaferro (associated with Fort Snelling) and concludes with Charles Bazille, the city’s first professional carpenter.

Brueggemann’s writing is smooth and easy to read and his book is a tour de force that should be in every library.

Teaser quote: “The pioneers of Saint Paul were not Quakers or Puritans but most of them were faithful Christians (predominantly French-Canadian Catholics) — simple, humble, backwoods farmers and traders with little or no formal education and very little money. True, a few of them were indeed of low character: Crude, decadent, some of them rogues and whiskey-traders.”

The author will read from his book at 6 p.m. Jan. 26 at St. Peter’s Lutheran Church, 530 Victoria St., St. Paul.

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To justify offering tax incentives to a developer to replace three properties at Grand Avenue and Victoria Street, the city of St. Paul hired consultants to evaluate whether the buildings would be considered “structurally substandard” by the state definition.

In other words, would repair costs to bring the buildings up to code exceed 15% of replacement costs?

The team with Minneapolis-based LHB who conducted the structural analysis and Aug. 13 inspection was company vice president Michael A. Fischer and inspector Phil Fisher. They found repair costs would total 29% of replacement costs for the buildings as a whole, and each building individually also would exceed the 15% threshold.

The mall that housed Juut Salon Spa, Paper Source and Trade Winds clothing would cost $2.9 million to replace and more than $708,000 to repair, based on 30 significant deficiencies, according to the LHB report. The central part of the mall dates to 1915.

Chief among needed improvements, the building needs $181,000 in roof repairs, $157,000 for HVAC replacement, $156,000 for code-compliant lighting and $74,000 for new windows. Other deficiencies ranged from electrical wiring to egress, damaged sidewalks, stairs, fire caulking and exterior brick and mortar improvements.

Adjoining the mall, the building that once housed Billy’s on Grand and more recently the Gather Eatery and Bar would cost $1.3 million to replace or $500,000 to repair, according to the LHB report, which found 20 significant deficiencies. The largest necessary improvements would be a $266,000 HVAC system, $61,000 in roof repairs and $40,000 to replace failed windows.

Other defects ranged from below-code electrical wiring, lighting, fire protection and egress to stairs, sprinklers, fire caulking and emergency lighting.

“The windows are failing, allowing for water intrusion, which is contrary to code,” reads the report. “The exterior concrete blocks and mortar are failing, allowing for water intrusion, which is contrary to code. Roofing materials are failing …”

Built in 1894, the three-story wood-frame house at 841 Grand Ave. previously served as a residential rental property.

The LHB inspection found the building, which would cost $449,000 to replace with the same general design, would need more than $151,000 in repairs to bring it up to modern building codes, even before correcting energy code deficiencies. That includes some $72,000 in necessary window and siding repair and $13,000 in roof repair.

“The foundation is deteriorating and should be reinforced, per code,” reads the report, which chronicled 30 separate deficiencies. “The southwest corner of the building is separating from the main structure and should be repaired to prevent water intrusion, per code.” Other areas falling below code in the report ranged from restrooms and kitchens to HVAC, egress, interior and exterior stairs, flooring and damaged sidewalks.

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A month ago, widespread fraud in Minnesota government programs made national headlines, with Gov. Tim Walz eventually ending his campaign for a third term in office as he faced scrutiny over his handling of the scandal.

Federal officials initially cited fraud as a part of the reason for their immigration crackdown in the state this past month. But the recent surge in enforcement and resulting clashes between the federal government and Minnesota officials may have triggered a series of events that could hurt efforts to deal with fraud.

Federal prosecutors have delivered most of the accountability in recent high-profile cases of fraud in state government programs. Former Assistant U.S. Attorney Joe Thompson, who had led the prosecutions, estimated that the theft could run into the billions.

So far, more than 90 individuals have been charged in schemes tied to housing, autism and meal programs, and more than 50 have been convicted.

On Dec. 18, the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Minnesota announced yet another round of charges, with Thompson calling the state’s fraud problem “industrial-scale.” It appeared that 2026 would deliver only more staggering examples.

Now there’s a chance those prosecutions could grind to a crawl, former heads of the office say.

At least six resign

Thompson was among at least six Minnesota prosecutors who reportedly resigned after Justice Department pressure to investigate the widow of 37-year-old Renee Good, who was killed by an Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent on Jan. 7. Some familiar with the office expect more resignations to follow.

Accountability and further investigation into government fraud could face significant disruptions as a result of those high-profile departures on top of existing staffing issues, according to an ex-federal prosecutor and former heads of the U.S. Attorney’s Office for Minnesota.

B. Todd Jones. (AP Photo/Jacquelyn Martin)

In typical times, the district might be able to pass complex fraud cases along to another prosecutor, but with recent attrition, that may prove to be more challenging, said B. Todd Jones, who served as Minnesota’s U.S. attorney under Presidents Bill Clinton and Barack Obama.

Jones said it will be difficult to replace the expertise of attorneys with decades of experience.

“The investigations will slow down,” he said. “You’ve had a drip, drip, drip of people that worked on those cases that have left during the last year because of the dynamics at the Department of Justice, and there’s more that’s happening as we speak.”

U.S. Department of Justice also hit with resignations

In the past, the DOJ might step in to assist a district with staffing shortages, Jones said, but the department has faced a wave of resignations and staffing issues of its own in the first year of Donald Trump’s second presidency.

Already, the U.S. Department of War had sent dozens of military lawyers, known as judge advocates, to assist with the case load in Minnesota during the immigration enforcement surge, according to multiple national news reports.

Former Minnesota U.S. Attorney David Lillehaug, who also served under Clinton, told Politico this week that attorneys from the Eastern District of Michigan had been called in to assist in Minnesota.

Lillehaug told the news outlet there were only around 17 prosecutors in Minnesota of the 50 that the office is normally supposed to have, basing that number off his ongoing familiarity with people who work there.

The former U.S. attorney didn’t respond to requests for an interview from the Pioneer Press, and the DOJ declined to confirm information about personnel.

“We have charged dozens of defendants from Minnesota who’ve defrauded the American people, and our whole of government approach to combatting these issues will continue until all fraudsters and violent criminals are brought to justice,” a department spokesperson said in a statement.

Minnesota U.S. Attorney Daniel Rosen and his office did not respond to requests for comment on this report. Rosen was appointed by Trump and confirmed to the post in October.

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Loss of seasoned, experienced prosecutors

The Minnesota U.S. Attorney’s Office does not currently have a public information officer. Until a few weeks ago, Assistant U.S. Attorney Melinda Williams served in that role, but she resigned along with Thompson. Williams and Thompson couldn’t be reached for this report.

Anders Folk, who served as acting U.S. attorney in 2021 under President Joe Biden and is currently running for Hennepin County attorney, described the current number of prosecutors at the U.S. Attorney’s Office as being “as small as it’s been in modern history” and noted the loss of what he described as “extraordinarily seasoned, experienced prosecutors.”

“The office is going to have a much more difficult time … doing the amount of work that we’re used to seeing it do, and doing the sophisticated types of cases that we’re used to seeing it do,” he said.

Mark Osler, a University of St. Thomas School of Law professor who once worked as a federal prosecutor in Michigan, echoed what Todd and Folk said and questioned new leadership in Minnesota.

“It is unprecedented to have this kind of a loss,” he said. “It reflects very poorly on the U.S. attorney that he is losing his best people when they are most needed. That’s just bad management.”

Building and prosecuting cases won’t be the only functions that could be affected, Osler said. The complex process of retrieving stolen funds also could be more difficult. In December, Thompson told reporters that the federal government had recovered up to $70 million, about $30 million of which is in bank accounts.

Feeding Our Future case

Attorney Kenneth Udoibok, who represented Aimee Bock, the alleged “ringleader” in the $250 million Feeding Our Future fraud scheme, said he didn’t expect the resignations to have a significant impact on sentencing in that case or any other fraud matters.

Bock was convicted last year and awaits sentencing. Udoibok has said she plans to appeal.

“It should be a healthy presumption that there is no entity in the United States that can withstand challenges as much as the federal government,” said Udoibok.

He added that he was mostly concerned about any potential changes in the “temperament” of the prosecution team rather than delays in the process.

Aimee Bock, founder and executive director of the nonprofit organization Feeding Our Future, arrives at the Minneapolis federal courthouse with her attorney, Ken Udoibok, right, on Wednesday, March 19, 2025, in Minneapolis, Minn. (Kerem Yücel/Minnesota Public Radio via AP)

Where do fraud cases stand?

Until 2025, the Feeding Our Future scheme dominated fraud coverage in Minnesota. In that case, prosecutors allege fraudsters claimed reimbursement from the state education department for millions of meals they never served as part of a federal pandemic meal aid program for children.

Last year, a new front opened — a federal investigation into Medicaid fraud became public.

The FBI raided businesses suspected of defrauding a Medicaid-funded state housing program for people with disabilities and addiction in July, and by September seven had been formally charged for stealing at least $10 million.

That same month, another was charged in a $14 million children’s autism services scheme, which Thompson at the time described as the “first in an ongoing investigation.” Federal prosecutors have said these investigations grew out of the Feeding Our Future case.

In response to the fraud cases, Minnesota’s Department of Human Services ended the Housing Stabilization Services program and ordered a third-party audit of 14 “high-risk” Medicaid programs.

Then, in December, federal prosecutors announced a new round of charges. Thompson told reporters he believed more than half of the $18 billion distributed in Medicaid funding through the 14 high-risk programs since 2018 could have been stolen.

State officials disputed that figure, calling it speculative. Walz said Thompson “would have been let go by any other administration” for “speculating” about fraud, but later praised him as a “principled public servant” when he resigned.

Days after Thompson said he believed Medicaid fraud alone could top $9 billion, Nick Shirley, a conservative YouTuber, posted a 43-minute video claiming rampant day care fraud by Somalis could have cost Minnesota more than $100 million.

The video, which garnered millions of views online, was based on existing allegations about fraud in Minnesota’s child care program, which until recently was run by the state’s Department of Human Services and is now under the authority of the Department of Children, Youth and Families, a spin-off agency.

As early as 2018, rumors circulated of fraud in Somali-run day cares receiving state money, including that theft topped $100 million, though the Shirley video did not give proof of theft at the scale alleged.

Homeland Security begins ‘massive investigation’

Following Thompson’s $9 billion allegation and the Shirley video, the Department of Homeland Security began conducting what it called “a massive investigation on childcare and other rampant fraud.” A social media post in late December showed federal law enforcement agents visiting a business in the Twin Cities area.

By early January, Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem announced that her agency, which oversees ICE, would send thousands of agents to Minnesota for “Operation Metro Surge,” an immigration enforcement crackdown in part tied to allegations of widespread fraud committed by Somalis in Minnesota.

Jones, Minnesota’s former U.S. attorney, said big fraud estimates from federal prosecutors ahead of any final charges or indictments were a departure from typical procedure.

“I was surprised how candid the U.S. Attorney’s Office was. One, about talking about the case in real time with cases pending, and two, the estimate of the damages or the losses,” he said. “In the end, all it did was provide a pretext for this administration to say we’ve got to do something about all these illegal immigrants who are committing billions of dollars in fraud.”

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