By LEANNE ITALIE

NEW YORK (AP) — Robbie Randolph is a real estate agent and interior designer for the rich, yet even he’s not immune from the anxiety of “house shame.”

That’s the judged, bullied, defeated feeling you can get when Pinterest-perfect syndrome takes over, either in our own minds thanks to social media or fed by the side eye of a friend with impeccable digs.

House shame can make you reluctant to invite people over, and in some cases lead to isolation and despair.

“House shaming is actually how designers kind of get business,” Randolph said. “A client will go over to another home that’s professionally designed and they’ll be like, ‘Oh my gosh, my house isn’t that nice.’ They then seek out an interior designer.”

Randolph, in Greenville, South Carolina, said interior designers themselves are just as vulnerable. So are exhausted parents with young children, people who just don’t love to clean, those who can’t afford home updates, or folks who really have a lot of books and/or love collectibles.

“I’ll do an Instagram post of an amazing, immaculately decorated house and I go, ‘Wow, my house stinks,’” said Randolph. “And everyone walks into my home and tells me how amazing it is. At the end of the day, I’m still human and I still get trapped by the devil of comparison.”

Remembering one’s humanity in a world where true perfection is elusive goes a long way, he and other experts noted.

The scary side of house shame

Not wanting to entertain at home can simply mean spending time together elsewhere, in restaurants, at the theater or in the homes of others, for instance. But it can also bring on hoarding or other traumatizing behaviors like losing the will to clean.

“I have a friend who refuses to have people over because she’s so ashamed of her house,” Randolph said.

His friend didn’t have the money or the will to fix up the house after her abusive husband moved out.

“I think house shaming is about comparison, but it can also be about a person’s own struggles,” he said.

Speaking of Martha Stewart …

Barbara Fight was a TV producer for Martha Stewart for 12 years before going into home organizing in New York. She said house shame got way worse with the rise of social media and its idealized depictions of homes most people can’t afford or otherwise will never have.

But there are lots of easy, inexpensive ways people can help themselves feel better about their living spaces if they so choose.

The issue is often just too much stuff. She sees a lot of homes with row upon overlapping row of framed photos in ancient (not in a good way) frames. She suggests paring them down to the bare minimum and stashing the rest in a decorative box that can be pulled out for perusal.

A cluttered living room appears in New York on Tuesday, April 8, 2025. (AP Photo/Leanne Italie)

Like Randolph, Fight has seen it all: People overloaded with things they’ve inherited from dead relatives. A young woman who wouldn’t bring her fiancé to her parents’ house, “because it’s such a mess.”

Fight suggests: “Take away a third of what’s out.” One client, she said, “had this long, narrow, beautiful table in her living room just filled with stuff. It was the first thing you saw when you walked in. I said to her, ‘It’s going to take me 15 minutes to make this look Instagram-worthy.’ About five pieces stayed on there. About 10 things were thrown out, and we found a different place for the rest.”

Does changing your home feel overwhelming?

Jamila Musayeva is the author of “The Art of Entertaining at Home” and hosts a lifestyle YouTube channel with over 1 million subscribers. She’s also an etiquette coach.

“A home doesn’t have to be perfect to be welcoming,” she said. “It simply has to feel cared for. If you’re worried about how your space might be perceived, start by focusing on what you can control.”

That could mean freshening up an entrance with a lit candle and a small flower arrangement to shift the mood for guests.

This image released by Jane’s Addiction Organization shows an organized shelf unit in a formerly cluttered living room in New York on Oct. 10, 2023. (Jane’s Addiction Organization via AP)

“Think ahead about the rooms your guests will actually see. Give those areas some attention rather than overwhelming yourself with the whole house. A clean bathroom with a fresh hand towel, good lighting in the living room and somewhere cozy to sit go much further than expensive décor,” Musayeva said.

Where the memories are made

Wendy Trunz, co-owner of the Long Island home organizing company Jane’s Addiction Organization, said she grew up in the smallest house in her family’s circle of friends and family. Now, with a husband and two kids, she lives in the smallest house among her neighbors and loved ones.

“My mom’s door was always open. Their table always had an extra seat. You just knocked and came in, and my mom just believed the more the merrier, this is where the memories are made and don’t mind the mess. And there’s something great about that,” she said.

Trunz notes that along with social media, the COVID pandemic contributed to house shame by sending millions of people home.

“Even now, five years later, we’re going in and people are still not eating at their dining room tables and not having people over,” she said. “Their husband is still sitting there working and it’s covered with stuff. We come in and clear that table and they call us in tears because for the first time they ate as a family around their dining room table again and not at the counter. It’s amazing. It’s amazing.”

Trunz had a easy solution for a client who had a stuffed front hall closet and felt she couldn’t accommodate the coats of guests.

“We just bought them a rolling rack, as if it’s a fancy thing. Nobody’s going to open the closet,” she said.

And if someone does house-shame you, there’s another easy solution, she said. One of her best friends is a teacher who invited teacher friends over for a meal and made her favorite tuna fish, choosing to focus on the magic of gathering rather than the toil of preparation.

“And one person in the group kept pointing out the fact that she only had one bathroom, and how did she live like that. I asked my friend, ‘What are you going to do about that?’ And she said, ‘You just decide not to have that person over.’ It can be that simple.”

Grant Magdanz, who uses Instagram to chronicle Los Angeles life living with his grandmother, has racked up about half a million likes for a video he posted last September showing off their decades-old furniture, mismatched cups and cluttered dining table.

“Not everyone’s life is themed, curated and made for social media,” a scroll on the video said. “In fact, most people’s aren’t. And we’re happy all the same.”

By SUSAN MONTOYA BRYAN

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. (AP) — Authorities on Tuesday released a lengthy investigation report detailing some of the last emails and internet searches done by Gene Hackman’s wife in the days before her death, indicating that she was scouring the internet for information on flu-like symptoms and breathing techniques.

Betsy Arakawa died in February of hantavirus pulmonary syndrome — a rare, rodent-borne disease that can led to a range of symptoms that include flu-like illness, headaches, dizziness and severe respiratory distress, investigators have said. Gene Hackman is believed to have died about a week later of heart disease with complications from Alzheimer’s disease.

The partially mummified remains of Hackman, 95, and Arakawa, 65, were found in their Santa Fe home on Feb. 26, when maintenance and security workers showed up at the home and alerted police.

According to the report released Tuesday, a review of the open bookmarks on Arakawa’s computer Feb. 8 and the morning of Feb. 12 indicated she was actively researching medical conditions related to COVID-19 and flu-like symptoms. The searches included questions about whether COVID could cause dizziness or nosebleeds.

She also had mentioned in an email to her masseuse that Hackman had woken up Feb. 11 with flu or cold-like symptoms but that a COVID test was negative and she would have to reschedule her appointment for the next day “out of an abundance of caution.”

Arakawa’s last search was the morning of Feb. 12 for a health care provider in Santa Fe.

FILE – Actor Gene Hackman arrives with his wife, Betsy Arakawa, for the 60th Annual Golden Globe Awards in Beverly Hills, Calif., Jan. 19, 2003. (AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill, File)

Investigators also reviewed a call history to the Hackmans’ home phone along with voicemails and security footage from stores that Arakawa had visited on Feb. 11.

Authorities also are expected to release more redacted police body camera footage from inside the home as sheriff’s deputies and investigators tried to piece together what had happened to the couple. The written report describes them going through rooms of the home and finding nothing out of the ordinary and no signs of forced entry.

The materials were being released as the result of a recent court order that mandated any depictions of the deceased couple would have to be blocked from view. All photos, video and documents from the investigation had been restricted from release by an earlier, temporary court order.

The Hackman estate and family members had sought to keep the records sealed to protect the family’s constitutional right to privacy.

A report obtained from the New Mexico Department of Health showed an environmental assessment of the Hackman property found rodent feces in several outbuildings but not inside the living quarters. A live rodent, dead rodent and a rodent nest were found in three detached garages.

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Nestled among the piñon and juniper hills overlooking Santa Fe, the Hackman home is not unlike others in area as mice are common within the surrounding landscape.

One of the couple’s three dogs also was found dead in a crate in a bathroom closet near Arakawa, while two other dogs were found alive. A state veterinary lab tied the dog’s death to dehydration and starvation.

An attorney for the estate, Kurt Sommer, argued during a hearing last month that the couple had taken great pains to stay out of the public light during their lifetimes and that the right to control the use of their names and likenesses should extend to their estate in death.

Estate representative Julia Peters also emphasized the possibly shocking nature of photographs and video in the investigation and the potential for their dissemination by media.

The Associated Press, CBS News and CBS Studios intervened in the matter, saying in court filings that they would not disseminate images of the couple’s bodies and would blur images to obscure them from other records.

By CHRISTOPHER KIMBALL

Hot cross buns are an Easter specialty with a light, enriched crumb that’s studded with currants and flavored with a gentle mix of warm spices and a hint of citrus. While some versions are drizzled with icing, we prefer a traditional semi-sweet, flour-based “cross” etched across the top.

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This recipe from our book “ Milk Street Bakes ” mostly sticks to tradition but amps up the flavor. We enrich the dough with tangy buttermilk instead of regular milk, along with orange zest and a little Lyle’s Golden Syrup for its bittersweet caramel notes. Lyle’s Golden Syrup is an amber-hued sweetener common to the U.K.; mild clover honey works equally well if you can’t find the iconic green can of syrup.

We plump the currants in bourbon, which enhances the flavors in the spice mix, then use the currant-flavored bourbon to make a shiny glaze.

The work is spread over a couple days so the buns can be baked and served for breakfast or brunch. If you wish to bake the buns the same day, after shaping them, let them rise at room temperature until just shy of doubled, about an hour. Halfway into rising, heat the oven and prepare the egg wash and piping mixture. Once doubled, brush the buns with egg wash and pipe on the crosses, then bake and glaze as directed. Store extra buns in an airtight container up to three days; rewarm wrapped in foil in a 300°F oven for 10 to 15 minutes.

Don’t heat the buttermilk to bring it to room temperature. Buttermilk curdles easily; it’s best to let it stand at room temperature. And don’t forget to pat the currants dry after draining their soaking liquid. Additional moisture can make the rather sticky dough difficult to handle when shaping.

Hot Cross Buns

Start to finish: 13 hours (1¼ hours active), plus cooling

Makes 12 buns

Ingredients:

For the dough:

93 grams (⅔ cup) dried currants

⅓ cup bourbon

1 cup buttermilk, room temperature

1 large egg, plus 1 large egg yolk

3 tablespoons Lyle’s Golden Syrup (see headnote) or honey

1 tablespoon grated orange zest

411 grams (3 cups) bread flour, plus more for dusting

2¼ teaspoons instant yeast

¾ teaspoon table salt

½ teaspoon ground cinnamon

¼ teaspoon ground allspice

¼ teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg

57 grams (4 tablespoons) salted butter, cut into 4 pieces, room temperature

For the egg wash and piping mixture:

1 large egg

34 grams (¼ cup) bread flour

For the glaze:

Bourbon, as needed

2 tablespoons Lyle’s Golden Syrup or honey

Instructions:

To make the dough, in a small microwave-safe bowl, stir the currants and bourbon. Microwave, uncovered, on high until warm, about 30 seconds, stirring once. Stir again, then set aside until plump, about 15 minutes. Drain in a fine-mesh strainer set over a small bowl; reserve the liquid. Turn the currants onto a paper towel-lined plate and pat dry; set aside.

In a 2-cup liquid measuring cup or small bowl, whisk the buttermilk, whole egg, egg yolk, golden syrup and orange zest. In a stand mixer with the dough hook, mix the flour, yeast, salt, cinnamon, allspice and nutmeg on low until combined, about 20 seconds. With the mixer running, add the buttermilk mixture; mix until a shaggy dough forms, about 45 seconds. Increase to medium-low and knead until sticky and elastic, 8 to 10 minutes; if the dough climbs up the hook, occasionally push it off.

With the mixer running on medium-low, add the butter 1 piece at a time, mixing until almost fully incorporated, about 30 seconds; scrape the bowl as needed. Knead on medium-low until shiny and once again elastic, 3 to 5 minutes. Scrape the dough off the hook. With the mixer running on medium-low, add the currants in 2 batches. Knead until distributed throughout the dough, 1 to 2 minutes. Detach the bowl from the mixer and use a silicone spatula to scrape the bowl and gather the dough at the center. Cover with plastic wrap and let rise at room temperature until doubled, 1 to 1½ hours.

Meanwhile, mist a 9-by-13-inch baking pan or baking dish with cooking spray. Line the pan with a 12-by-16-inch piece of parchment positioned so the excess overhangs the pan’s long sides. Mist the parchment with cooking spray; set aside.

When the dough has doubled, lightly flour the counter and turn the dough out onto it. Divide into 12 portions, each about 77 grams (2½ ounces). Form each into a taut ball by rolling it against the counter in a circular motion under a cupped hand. Place seam-side down in the prepared pan, arranging them in 3 rows of 4. Mist a sheet of plastic wrap with cooking spray and drape over the pan, then cover loosely with a kitchen towel. Refrigerate for at least 8 hours or up to 24 hours.

About 2 hours before you are ready to bake, remove the buns from the refrigerator. Let stand at room temperature, covered, until almost doubled, 1½ to 2 hours.

About 1 hour into rising, in a small bowl, beat the egg for the wash until well combined; set aside. In another small bowl, combine the flour and 2½ tablespoons water; whisk until smooth. The mixture should form a thick paste that falls slowly from the whisk and mounds on itself in the bowl; if too thick, whisk in more water a few drops at a time. Transfer to a quart-size, zip-close bag. Press out the air and push the mixture to one corner; twist the bag to keep the batter contained in the corner; set aside. Heat the oven to 350°F with a rack in the middle position.

When the buns have doubled, brush them with egg wash (you will not need to use all of the egg). With the piping mixture still pushed to the corner of the bag, use scissors to snip off ⅛ to ¼ inch from the tip of the bag. Pipe a continuous line across the center of each row of buns, then pipe a continuous line down the center of each column of buns, creating a cross on the center of each bun. Bake until the buns are deep golden brown, 30 to 35 minutes.

Meanwhile, make the glaze. Measure the bourbon reserved from soaking the currants, then supplement with additional bourbon to total 3 tablespoons. In a small saucepan, combine the bourbon and syrup. Simmer over medium, stirring, until lightly syrupy and reduced to about 3 tablespoons, about 2 minutes; set aside off heat.

When the buns are done, set the pan on a wire rack and immediately brush with the glaze. Cool for 10 minutes. Using the parchment sling, lift the buns from the pan and set directly on the rack. Serve warm or at room temperature.

By MICHAEL KUNZELMAN and BEN FINLEY

A federal judge in Maryland is expected to question the Trump administration Tuesday about its continued refusal to retrieve Kilmar Abrego Garcia from an El Salvador prison, even after the Supreme Court ordered his return to the U.S.

The 4 p.m. hearing in a U.S. District Court comes a day after White House advisers repeated the claim that they lack the authority to bring back the Salvadoran national from his native country. The president of El Salvador also said Monday that he would not return Abrego Garcia, likening it to smuggling “a terrorist into the United States.”

Abrego Garcia, 29, lived in the U.S. for roughly 14 years, during which he worked construction, got married and was raising three children with disabilities, according to court records.

A U.S. immigration judge had shielded Abrego Garcia from deportation to El Salvador in 2019, ruling that he would likely face persecution there by local gangs that had terrorized his family. He also was given a federal permit to work in the United States, according to Abrego Garcia’s lawyers.

But the Trump administration expelled Abrego Garcia to El Salvador last month anyway. Administration officials later described the mistake as “an administrative error” but insisted that Abrego Garcia was a member of the MS-13 in the U.S.

Abrego Garcia was never charged with a crime and has denied the allegations, according to court records. The accusation stems from 2019, when Maryland police arrested Abrego Garcia while he was looking for work as a day laborer outside a Home Depot.

The allegation was based on Abergo Garcia wearing a Chicago Bulls hat and hoodie and the word of a criminal informant who worked with police in Maryland’s Prince George’s County, court records state.

Abergo Garcia’s attorneys have pointed out the criminal informant alleged he was a member of MS-13 in Long Island, New York, where Abrego Garcia has never lived.

The allegation was enough for a U.S. immigration judge to keep Abrego Garcia in jail as his immigration case proceeded in 2019, court records state. And a board of appeals backed that judge’s decision.

But the U.S. immigration court ultimately released Abrego Garcia from custody once he was granted protected status from being deported back to El Salvador, according to court records.

U.S. District Judge Paula Xinis had ordered the Trump administration in early April to bring Abrego Garcia back. And the U.S. Supreme Court agreed on Thursday that the U.S. government must “facilitate” Abrego Garcia’s release.

But the White House has balked at trying to broker his return, arguing the courts can’t intrude on the president’s diplomacy powers.

Tuesday’s hearing could include strong words from Xinis. She had lambasted a lawyer for the Trump administration at a court hearing on Friday when the attorney couldn’t explain what, if anything, the administration has done to arrange Abrego Garcia’s return.

Xinis ordered the U.S. on Friday to provide daily status updates on plans to return Abrego Garcia. The Trump administration responded Saturday that he was alive in the notorious El Salvador prison. But it has only doubled down on its decision not to tell a federal court whether it has any plans to repatriate Abrego Garcia.

In its filing to the judge on Monday, the Trump administration repeated the statement made by El Salvador President Nayib Bukele.

“How can I smuggle a terrorist into the United States? Of course I’m not going to do it. The question is preposterous,” Bukele said.

In a filing with the U.S. District Court on Tuesday, Abrego Garcia’s lawyers cited Thursday’s order from the Supreme Court to facilitate his return.

“To give any meaning to the Supreme Court’s order, the Government should at least be required to request the release of Abrego Garcia,” the attorneys wrote. “To date, the Government has not done so.”

The attorneys also rejected the idea that the U.S. lacks the authority to retrieve him. They noted that the U.S. is paying El Salvador to hold prisoners, including Abrego Garcia, and “can exercise those same contractual rights to request their release.”

Bukele struck a deal under which the U.S. will pay about $6 million for El Salvador to imprison Venezuelan immigrants for a year. Trump has said openly that he would also favor El Salvador taking custody of American citizens who have committed violent crimes, which is likely illegal.