By CATHY BUSSEWITZ, Associated Press

NEW YORK (AP) — Her first panic attack came at a company-wide meeting, right before her scheduled presentation. Carolina Lasso had given many similar talks about her marketing team’s accomplishments. When her name was called this time, she couldn’t speak.

“I felt a knot in my throat,” Lasso said. “My head, it felt like it was inside a bubble. I couldn’t hear, I couldn’t see, and it felt like an eternity. It was just a few seconds, but it was so profound, and in a way earth-shattering to me.”

Lasso was struggling after a cross-country move followed by a divorce. Her boss suggested a mental health leave, a possibility she didn’t know existed. She worried whether taking time off would affect how her team viewed her or cost her a future promotion, but in the end she did.

“I’m thankful for that opportunity to take the time to heal,” Lasso, 43, said. “Many people feel guilty when they take a leave of absence when it’s mental health-related. … There is some extra weight that we carry on our shoulders, as if it had been our fault.”

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Despite a fear of repercussions, more adults are recognizing that stepping back from work to deal with emotional burdens or psychological conditions that get in the way of their lives is a necessary choice, one that a growing number of employers recognize.

ComPsych Corp., a provider of employee mental health programs and absence management services, encourages its business clients to make the well-being of workers a priority before individuals get to a breaking point while also having processes in place for those who require leaves of absence.

“Since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, collectively we’ve just been in this constant state of turmoil,” Jennifer Birdsall, the senior clinical director at ComPysch, said. “We just have had this barrage of change and uncertainty.”

Depression, anxiety and adjustment disorder, which involves excessive reactions to stress, were the top three diagnoses of employees who took mental health leaves in the past two years among clients of Alight, a Chicago-based technology company which administers leaves and benefits for large employers.

Structuring a leave

A mental health leave can last weeks or months. In some cases, workers get approval to work a reduced schedule or to take short periods of time off when needed, using an approach called “intermittent leave.”

At most U.S. organizations with 50 or more employees, people can request leaves through the Family and Medical Leave Act. The federal law entitles workers with serious health conditions to paid or unpaid leaves of up to 12 weeks, depending on state and local laws.

Some employers require people to use sick days or accumulated vacation days to continue receiving a paycheck while out. For longer leaves, workers can access short-term disability plans, if their employer offers one.

Lasso’s leave lasted six months, and included therapy and travel to India for additional treatment. She returned to her job but decided after a year to leave for good. She later launched a business to train people on fostering a more humane work culture.

A mental health leave is “not only OK, but it can really unlock new possibilities once we have the time to do the work — therapy, medication, whatever it is — and have enough distance from work to be able to reconnect with ourselves,” Lasso said.

Talking openly about struggles

A social stigma around mental health challenges causes many people to avoid seeking treatment or requesting a leave of absence. Newton Cheng, director of health and performance at Google, hopes to change that by sharing his own struggles.

His first self-disclosure happened during the pandemic, when a senior manager invited employees at a meeting to share how they were doing. When it was his turn, Cheng started crying.

He explained he was struggling to live up to his expectations of himself as a father and didn’t know how to turn things around.

“It was just totally horrifying to me because, one, I had just cried in front of my coworkers and I was definitely taught as a professional — and as a man — you do not do that,” Cheng recalled. “And then two, I had never really articulated and said out loud those words. I hadn’t even allowed myself to think that. But now they’re out there and I had to face them.”

Colleagues responded by relaying their own struggles, but Cheng’s difficulties continued. By February 2021, he couldn’t get out of bed because he felt paralyzed by dread, he said. A therapist said he was showing symptoms of major depression and anxiety.

“I just realized, ‘I’m struggling a lot and this goes pretty deep. I don’t think I can keep just putting duct tape on this. I probably need to take some leave,’” Cheng recalled.

Hoping his decision would benefit others, he announced to 200 people at a conference that he planned to take mental health leave. Instead of derailing the gathering as he feared, his honesty inspired fellow conference attendees to open up.

“It was like a fireworks show,” Cheng said. “They’re like, ‘Wow, I can’t believe he did that.’ Then they forgot about me. But the tone was set. It was like ’Oh, this is what we’re doing. Let me talk about what’s going on with me, too.’”

Take the time you need

While balancing classes and a full-time job during her last year of college, Rosalie Mae began struggling to get out of bed and crying uncontrollably. Yet she felt like she had “to keep it together” to avoid burdening her colleagues at the University of Utah bookstore, where Mae worked as an accounting clerk.

Then she found herself calling a suicide hotline. “Once it reached that point, I knew, especially at the urging of my husband, we need to do something more,” Mae, 24, said.

In her case, that meant taking a five-week work leave to put her own health and well-being first. She recommends the same for others who find themselves in a similar position.

“Taking a mental health leave is not necessarily a cure-all, but it is important to give yourself a break and allow yourself to regroup, make a plan of how to proceed and take the steps to work towards feeling better,” Mae said.

Telling managers and colleagues

Before broaching the subject of a mental health leave with a manager, consider the workplace culture and the strength of your professional relationships, Cheng said. He recalls saying, “For my health and well-being, and the sake of my family and what’s best for the business, the least risky thing for me to do is to go on leave soon.”

Individuals who suspect an unsympathetic reception can simply say, “I need to go on medical leave. I need time to recover,” he advised.

There’s also no legal or ethical requirement to tell everyone you work with the nature of your leave.

“Your coworkers don’t need to know why,” said Seth Turner, co-founder of AbsenceSoft, a leave and accommodation management solutions provider. “They just need to know, ‘I’m going to be here at this time, and I’m going to be gone at this time, and I’ll be back.’”

Have you overcome an obstacle or made a profound change in your work? Send your questions and story ideas to cbussewitz@ap.org. 

By Kacie Goff, Bankrate.com

Per the 2024 National Association of Realtors (NAR) Member Profilec, a typical agent had 10 transactions in the last year. With roughly one deal closing per month, the agent you hire should theoretically have bandwidth to provide you with the best possible service.

If that doesn’t ring true for your current experience, however, it could be time for a change. You might be wondering when to fire your Realtor. Or, more pressingly, how to fire your real estate agent.

Let’s take a look at when to make that call — and how to navigate a firing legally.

How to know when to fire your Realtor

We’re all only human, so it’s OK if an agent makes a mistake or two. But you may want to consider finding a new real estate rep if you spot several of these red flags:

They don’t communicate well. Your agent should be reachable and communicative with you. If they take a long time to get back to you, it can impact your ability to see listings and put in offers before the competition. And if you feel like they’re not being straightforward with you, or possibly even lying, that’s a deal-breaker. Speaking in jargon is another issue — politely ask them to explain anything you don’t understand.
They’re not marketing your home well. Today, real estate pros have a wide range of options they can use to get the word out about your listing. If your home isn’t turning up on leading listing sites or is otherwise poorly positioned, you might want to figure out how to fire your real estate agent.
There’s a personality clash. Your agent is navigating one of the biggest decisions of your life with you. You want to feel comfortable working with them. If your personalities don’t mesh well, you might be better served by finding someone else. Trust your instincts. If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.
They’re overly pushy or aggressive. An agent’s job is to advocate for you — not against you. Someone who is argumentative or tries to pressure you into things you feel uncomfortable with is not a good fit.
They act unprofessional. Everyone has a different work style, but there are a few behaviors that just won’t fly. If they consistently show up late to appointments (or not at all), come unprepared, lack knowledge about the property or seem distracted during your interactions, be wary. This shows a lack of respect for you as a client.
They’re unfamiliar with the market. A good agent stays informed about their local market. If they don’t know about current market trends in your area, how can they help you find the best place or make the best deal possible? Make sure to arrange regular and continual updates from your agent on market conditions, recent sales, new listings, available inventory and price trends.
They demonstrate a lack of skills. Whether it’s helping you stage your for-sale home or negotiating on price, you want an agent who knows what they’re doing. No one likes to feel like they left money on the closing table, whether you’re the buyer or the seller.

How to fire your real estate agent

Don’t leap to a firing right away. If you’re unhappy with your agent, you may still be able to mend the relationship: Try communicating with them openly in a non-confrontational way about the issues you have. If the issues persist, it’s probably time to let them go. You’ll need to do so legally, ensuring you’re in compliance with any agreements or contracts you signed. The last thing you want is an expensive court battle.

Once you know when to fire your Realtor or real estate agent, you can take certain steps. Those vary slightly between buyers and sellers, so we outline them separately below.

If you follow these steps, be polite and respectful. Your dissatisfaction with the agent will reflect badly on them and probably hurt their career, so be mindful not to make the impact of your feedback worse.

If you’re a buyer

If you had someone helping you buy a home, figuring out how to fire your real estate agent means:

Checking if you’ve signed anything: If nothing’s in writing and your dealings with the agent have remained informal, then you’re in the clear to walk away.
Reviewing what you’ve signed: If you’ve signed a buyer’s agent agreement, you’re bound by the criteria in that agreement.
Pursuing termination rights: Agreements do typically spell out termination rights, though, so review those carefully. If the agent hasn’t held up their end of the bargain (e.g., has missed appointments or made mistakes on documentation), you may be within your legal rights to terminate the relationship before the agreement ends. If you have a real estate attorney, you may want to have them write the termination letter to avoid any complications or liability.
Trying to make things work: If you have a written agreement with the agent that you can’t get out of, go directly to the agent. Tell them what you need to see change. Writing a list of the issues at hand might help them understand the situation and where they need to make adjustments. Then, give the agent some time to see if they improve. Be constructive and show them you’re interested in creating a positive relationship that works for both of you.
Escalating the issue as needed: If you’re somewhat stuck and can’t get anywhere with the agent on your own, now’s a good time to escalate the issue to the agent’s brokerage, or the company for which they work. The broker there functions somewhat like the agent’s boss, and may be able to help you and the agent find a better path forward.
Seeing if they’ll agree to termination: Sometimes, the agent or their broker will allow you to terminate your agreement early when things aren’t going well. You can request that and hope they agree.
Waiting out the timeline: Buyer’s agreements usually tie you to your agent until the time period specified in the agreement runs out. That probably means sticking with that agent for several months if you haven’t found resolution with them or their broker.

If you’re a seller

For folks who’ve been working with an agent to sell, the process is similar but comes with some differences. Go through these steps if you’re a seller trying to figure out how to fire your real estate agent.

Checking if you’ve signed anything: If you’ve just been informally chatting, you’re under no obligation. But if your home is already on the market, you’ve likely signed with a listing agent. A listing agent, also called a seller’s agent, usually invests more time and effort in your property upfront, such as pulling comps, marketing the home and holding open houses. This investment makes it trickier to break up with them.
Figuring out what you’ve signed: The most common agreement a seller would have with a listing agent is an exclusive right to sell, meaning the agent is solely responsible for bringing in prospective buyers and selling your property. It also usually means you’re responsible for paying their commission.
Seeing if you can get out of it: Your agreement with the agent might lay out requirements for them, and termination rights for you if they don’t live up to those. Make sure they are unambiguous. You may be able to dissolve the agreement if any of those termination rights apply to your situation.
Raising your complaints with the agent: If no termination rights apply, write down what’s going wrong for you. Craft a letter or list you can share with the agent to help them understand what you need from them. Sharing this with them in a face-to-face, non-confrontational discussion is probably best. Don’t be accusatory or attempt to place blame.
Going to their broker: Real estate agents legally have to work under the supervision of a broker. This person essentially acts as their boss, so getting them involved can help redirect the agent. They don’t want to lose the listing or suffer the reputational damage, so they should go out of their way to solve the problems and accommodate you.
Asking for termination: With your list of issues in hand, you can ask the agent and/or their broker if they’re willing to terminate your agreement with them early. If the situation is difficult, they might agree. If they agree, get a written release and a waiver of liability. Also, get a list of all the people they have shown your home to. If any of those people subsequently buy your house, you’ll have to pay a commission.
Waiting out the agreement: If nothing else works, you’ll need some patience. Your exclusive right to sell agreement should have an expiration date. After that point, you’re free to work with another agent.

Tips for hiring the right agent

You’ve been burned — it’s OK, it happens. But now you want to make sure it doesn’t happen again, and find someone who you really click with.

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When you’re looking for a new real estate agent, make sure you do your research. Ask friends and family for recommendations. Search online and read reviews. Once you narrow it down to a few candidates, schedule time to interview them, and don’t be afraid to ask questions. Find out about their experience and market knowledge. And trust your gut — working with someone you genuinely like is always best.

Bottom line

Know the signs of a bad real estate agent. You don’t have to settle for someone you don’t like and don’t work well with, or someone who isn’t doing a good job for you. Walk away or figure out how to terminate or wait out the contract. Then, take your time to find a new agent who will meet your needs and work to get you what you want.

FAQs

How do you write a termination letter to a real estate agent?

The letter should have a header that provides your contact information so the brokerage can know which agreement you want to terminate. In the letter, explain why you’re terminating the agreement. Refer specifically to the factual elements that are the basis for termination. Don’t elaborate or exaggerate. Make sure to also mention the specific termination clause from the agreement that you’re calling on.

How do you deal with an unprofessional Realtor?

First, be clear and direct with them. If they’re late for an appointment, for example, tell them that it made you feel disrespected as a client. If they don’t respond to your feedback, escalate the issue to their broker. It is always good to keep a written record of issues and conversations with the agent.

What is unethical Realtor behavior?

If someone is a Realtor, it means they’ve agreed to abide by the NAR’s Code of Ethics. Anything outside of that code, then, is considered unethical. Some common issues here include misrepresenting or concealing facts, discriminating, an unwillingness to work with other agents when it best serves the client and not being transparent about any kickbacks they receive.

©2025 Bankrate.com. Distributed by Tribune Content Agency, LLC.

Whether you have an official autism diagnosis or an inkling that you could be on the spectrum, you are invited to a happy hour on Wednesday.

Happy Hour for Adults with Autism kicks off at 4 p.m. April 23 and will give attendees the chance to socialize without the stigma, according to event sponsors Fraser, a provider of autism and early childhood mental health services, and Sheletta Brundidge, a local business owner and mother of three children who are on the spectrum.

Sheletta Brundidge (Scott Takushi / Pioneer Press)

“We are inviting all hard working, tax-paying autistic adults to a happy hour to celebrate us and to shine a light on our success and our accomplishments,” said Brundidge, who was recently diagnosed with autism, in a nod to recent comments by Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

“Autism destroys families,” Kennedy said this week, after declaring that Health and Human Services would determine the cause of autism by September.

“These are kids who will never pay taxes. They’ll never hold a job. They’ll never play baseball. They’ll never write a poem. They’ll never go out on a date. Many of them will never use a toilet unassisted,” he said at an HHS press conference in Washington, D.C.

“That is wrong and damaging,” Brundidge said. “What he is doing is potentially limiting or eliminating the earning potential for people who have autism.”

An estimated 1 in 31 U.S. children have autism, according to findings this week from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. “At some point, it’s going to be 1 in 31 adults,” said Brundidge, who also hosted a job fair for people on the spectrum.

“These misleading theories perpetuate harmful stigma, jeopardize public health and distract from the critical needs of the Autism community including access to quality care, early intervention, adult services, inclusive education and long-term supports,” said Christopher Banks, the president and CEO of the Autism Society of America, in a news release addressing Kennedy’s statements.

“For us to combat the negative stereotype that (Kennedy) just portrayed, we have to come together and show people what autism looks like,” Brundidge said.

“If he’s wondering what successful adults and children with autism look like, he can come to Cottage Grove,” she said. “He has an open invitation to my house.”

Wednesday’s event especially hits home for Brundidge as she recently received her own autism diagnosis. “It was such a relief to know that as an adult, I have autism. It also explains so much,” she said.

Recognizing signs

Having three children on the spectrum, Brundidge knows the signs of autism better than most, but it was actor Bella Ramsey who inspired her to get tested, she said.

Bella Ramsey attends the 75th Primetime Emmy Awards at Peacock Theater on January 15, 2024 in Los Angeles, California. (Neilson Barnard / Getty Images)

Star of “The Last of Us,” a popular series based on a video game that sees the world ravaged by a parasitic fungus, Ramsey received their diagnosis while working on the show.

During the shooting of the show’s first season, a crew member with an autistic daughter assumed that Ramsey was on the spectrum as well, “setting them off on a journey that ended in a formal psychiatric assessment and diagnosis,” Vogue reports.

Autism presents itself in a multitude of ways including avoiding eye contact, struggling in social situations, having intense interests and experiencing sensory issues, to name a few.

Ramsey told Vogue that being on the autism spectrum improves their acting because of how vigilant they are of other people. Being on set is also helpful for them because of the structured routine and clear expectations for what they should wear and how to act.

Autistic ‘Survivor’ contestant

Eagan native Eva Erickson is competing in the current season of “Survivor” as the show’s first openly autistic contestant.

Eagan native Eva Erickson is one of 18 castaways competing on “Survivor 48,” which premiered Feb. 26, 2025. (Robert Voets / CBS)

When she was diagnosed as a child, Erickson shared that her parents were told she’d never live independently nor hold a job and that, at most, she could hope to marry another person with autism.

Not only is she competing on one of the most intense competition reality shows, Erickson is pursuing her Ph.D at Brown University School of Engineering, where she is also the captain of the men’s club hockey team.

Initially, Erickson only shared her diagnosis with a tribemate she felt she could trust, but she chose to reveal it to the rest of the competitors after becoming extremely flustered during a challenge and falling into an episode of moaning and weeping.

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“I’ve never viewed my autism as a roadblock to success. It’s not something to work around. It’s just part of who I am. There’s nothing bad about it,” she said. “Everyone who has autism should not be ashamed to ask for help and ashamed to receive it.”

Happy Hour for Adults with Autism

When: 4 to 6 p.m. Wednesday, April 23

Where: Renaissance Minneapolis Hotel, The Depot at 225 3rd Ave. S., Minneapolis

RSVP: http://pipr.es/3NT5uyJ

In the beginning there was agony. Under the empires of old, the strong did what they willed, and the weak suffered what they must.

But over the centuries, people built the sinews of civilization: constitutions to restrain power, international alliances to promote peace, legal systems to peacefully settle disputes, scientific institutions to cure disease, news outlets to advance public understanding, charitable organizations to ease suffering, businesses to build wealth and spread prosperity, and universities to preserve, transmit and advance the glories of our way of life. These institutions make our lives sweet, loving and creative, rather than nasty, brutish and short.

Trumpism is threatening all of that. It is primarily about the acquisition of power — power for its own sake. It is a multifront assault to make the earth a playground for ruthless men, so of course any institutions that might restrain power must be weakened or destroyed. Trumpism is about ego, appetite and acquisitiveness and is driven by a primal aversion to the higher elements of the human spirit — learning, compassion, scientific wonder, the pursuit of justice.

So far, we have treated the various assaults of President Donald Trump and the acolytes in his administration as a series of different attacks. In one lane they are going after law firms. In another they savaged the United States Agency for International Development. In another they’re attacking our universities. On yet another front they’re undermining NATO, and on another they’re upending global trade.

But that’s the wrong way to think about it. These are not separate battles. This is a single effort to undo the parts of the civilizational order that might restrain Trump’s acquisition of power. And it will take a concerted response to beat it back.

So far, each sector Trump has assaulted has responded independently — the law firms seek to protect themselves, the universities, separately, try to do the same. Yes, a group of firms banded together in support of the firm Perkins Coie, but in other cases it’s individual law firms trying to secure their separate peace with Trump. Yes, Harvard eventually drew a line in the sand, but Columbia cut a deal. This is a disastrous strategy that ensures that Trump will trample on one victim after another. He divides and conquers.

Slowly, many of us are realizing that we need to band together. But even these efforts are insular and fragmented. Several members of the Big Ten Conference are working on forming an alliance to defend academic freedom. Good. But that would be 18 schools out of roughly 4,000 degree-granting American colleges and universities.

So far, the only real hint of something larger — a mass countermovement — has been the rallies led by Bernie Sanders and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. But this too is a ineffective way to respond to Trump; those partisan rallies make this fight seem like a normal contest between Democrats and Republicans.

What is happening now is not normal politics. We’re seeing an assault on the fundamental institutions of our civic life, things we should all swear loyalty to — Democrat, independent or Republican.

It’s time for a comprehensive national civic uprising. It’s time for Americans in universities, law, business, nonprofits and the scientific community, and civil servants and beyond to form one coordinated mass movement. Trump is about power. The only way he’s going to be stopped is if he’s confronted by some movement that possesses rival power.

Peoples throughout history have done exactly this when confronted by an authoritarian assault. In their book, “Why Civil Resistance Works,” Erica Chenoweth and Maria J. Stephan looked at hundreds of nonviolent uprisings. These movements used many different tools at their disposal — lawsuits, mass rallies, strikes, work slowdowns, boycotts and other forms of noncooperation and resistance.

These movements began small and built up. They developed clear messages that appealed to a variety of groups. They shifted the narrative so the authoritarians were no longer on permanent offense. Sometimes they used nonviolent means to provoke the regime into taking violent action, which shocks the nation, undercuts the regime’s authority and further strengthens the movement. (Think of the civil rights movement at Selma.) Right now, Trumpism is dividing civil society; if done right, the civic uprising can begin to divide the forces of Trumpism.

Chenoweth and Stephan emphasize that this takes coordination. There doesn’t always have to be one charismatic leader, but there does have to be one backbone organization, one coordinating body that does the work of coalition building.

In his book “Upheaval,” Jared Diamond looked at countries that endured crises and recovered. He points out that the nations that recover don’t catastrophize — they don’t say everything is screwed up and we need to burn it all down. They take a careful inventory of what is working well and what is working poorly. Leaders assume responsibility for their own share of society’s problems.

This struck me as essential advice for Americans today. We live in a country with catastrophically low levels of institutional trust. University presidents, big law firms, media organizations and corporate executives face a wall of skepticism and cynicism. If they are going to participate in a mass civic uprising against Trump, they have to show the rest of the country that they understand the establishment sins that gave rise to Trump in the first place. They have to show that they are democratically seeking to reform their institutions. This is not just defending the establishment; it’s moving somewhere new.

Let’s take the universities. I’ve been privileged to teach at American universities off and on for nearly 30 years, and I get to visit a dozen or two others every year. These are the crown jewels of American life. They are hubs of scientific and entrepreneurial innovation. In a million ways, the scholars at universities help us understand ourselves and our world.

But like all institutions, they have their flaws. Many have allowed themselves to become shrouded in a stifling progressivism that tells half the country: Your voices don’t matter. Through admissions policies that favor rich kids, the elite universities have contributed to a diploma divide. If the same affluent families come out on top generation after generation, then no one should be surprised if the losers flip over the table.

In other words, a civic uprising has to have a short-term vision and a long-term vision. Short term: Stop Trump. Foil his efforts. Pile on the lawsuits. Turn some of his followers against him. The second is a long-term vision of a fairer society that is not just hard on Trump but hard on the causes of Trumpism — one that offers a positive vision. Whether it’s the universities, the immigration system or the global economy, we can’t go back to the status quo that prevailed when Trump first rode down the escalator.

I’m really not a movement guy. I don’t naturally march in demonstrations or attend rallies that I’m not covering as journalist. But this is what America needs right now. Trump is shackling the greatest institutions in American life. We have nothing to lose but our chains.

David Brooks writes a column for the New York Times.

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