Kris Bolle is living the “van life” these days with Annie, his mini Australian shepherd.
Bolle, 46, bought a 2020 Dodge Ram ProMaster cargo van this past fall. The Hayfield resident planned, essentially, a studio apartment inside. The van with a high roof has room for a full bed, a small kitchen area and a writing desk.
He saves money by forgoing rent, but there is a cost — isolation. It’s a lifestyle he’s grown accustomed to since he had to hide his sexuality over the years, including in the Navy under the now-defunct “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy, which allowed gay and lesbian service members to stay in the military as long as they weren’t out, he said.
“I had to be very, very tight-lipped about me … so I’m used to it,” Bolle said. “But yes, it wears on you. It wears you down, and you feel isolated and you feel left out.”
About 48% of Minnesotans feel left out some of the time or often, according to the “Minds of Minnesotans” survey conducted by APM Research Lab.
The poll also finds that about half of Minnesotans feel lonely, at least some of the time. More specifically, 13% say they “often” lack companionship and another 35% lack companionship “some of the time.”
Results were similar when Minnesotans were asked how often they feel left out and isolated from others.
Bolle was one of 3,399 participants surveyed by the firm Lumaris. He said he often feels a lack of companionship as well. He hasn’t been in a relationship since 2009. He often feels left out and sometimes feels isolated.
“I’m isolated in the sense where I really can’t find a suitable partner,” he said. His social connections are at his nursing assistant job, which he looks forward to, Bolle said. He’s never thoroughly enjoyed a job as much as his role at a skilled nursing facility, he said.
“Work is great. I get to see people, I get to interact with people. I get to chat and talk and all the things that you know, that people do,” Bolle said. “That’s really hard to find.”
The loneliness epidemic
The APM Research Lab included these questions in the survey, conducted this year between July 20 and Nov. 22, to better understand what the U.S. surgeon general has called “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation.”
The three questions used in the survey were replicated from the widely used UCLA Loneliness Scale to help assess Minnesotans’ state of mind in the post-pandemic era, and possibly to help identify groups of Minnesotans that are faring better or worse with feelings of loneliness and isolation.
In 2023, Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy issued a report calling loneliness an epidemic, posing significant health risks akin to tobacco usage, obesity and addiction.
Loneliness intersects with various aspects of people’s lives, said Carrie Henning-Smith, an associate professor in the Division of Health Policy and Management at the University of Minnesota School of Public Health.
“Social isolation and loneliness have profound impacts on health, on mortality risks, on all of the ways that our lives play out within health, within that sphere, but in so many other ways, too,” said Henning-Smith, who conducts research on rural populations as the co-director of the University of Minnesota Rural Health Research Center and the Rural Health Program.
According to the surgeon general’s report, “the physical health consequences of poor or insufficient connection include a 29 percent increased risk of heart disease, a 32 percent increased risk of stroke, and a 50 percent increased risk of developing dementia for older adults.”
A lack of social connections increases the risk of premature death by more than 60%, the report added.
Mary Jo Kreitzer, the founder and director of the Earl Bakken Center for Spirituality and Healing at the University of Minnesota, said the report is significant.
“Just by him (Murthy) touching that subject, everybody remembers that he did,” she said. “People remembered that. Because I’m sure that everybody has somebody like that in their life, or they themselves are feeling lonely.”
There’s also a stigma surrounding the idea of loneliness.
“People are reluctant to admit that they feel lonely. It somehow means like that you’re unlikable or unlovable or there’s something wrong with you,” Henning-Smith said.
“It’s important to have these conversations, because the truth is, just about everyone will feel lonely at some point in their life,” she added. “It’s a universal part of being human.”
Kreitzer said the data reported by APM Lab is comparable to other global and U.S. data on the subject.
“Other studies like this one found that loneliness peaks in younger age groups,” she said, calling it “a very interesting finding.” The survey found that the Generation Z cohort of ages 18 to 27 were the most lonely.
“That surprises a lot of people, but I think it’s consistent with other data,” Kreitzer said.
She said people assume that older people suffer from loneliness because they lack the social connections they once had earlier in their lives. The survey data, instead, showed that baby boomers, currently ages 60 to 78, are the least lonely of adult-age generations in Minnesota: 63% score as “rarely lonely” and only 7% indicated frequent loneliness.
“Sometimes, like in the boomer generation, when people have retired, they actually have more time to build and strengthen connections,” Kreitzer said. “Boomers can be great at joining groups, pursuing interests, be that hobbies or fitness activities or book clubs or volunteering, and all of those are ways that can really help us build social connections.”
She said her local YMCA in Grand Rapids, Minn., is a hub of activity with engaged older folks. She sees them playing cards, working out, swimming and more.
Gen Zers, however, are experiencing numerous life transitions.
“During that age, they’re expected to separate from their family, to find a partner, to launch a career,” Kreitzer said. “So there’s been a lot of disruption in social connections that they probably have had in their life for a long, long time.”
Henning-Smith called the loneliness rates among young adults “concerning.”
Social media and technology may explain part of the higher rates.
“People who live their lives online, people who are digital natives and were born into a world where they’re living their lives online, have fundamentally different ways of connecting with other people,” Henning-Smith said.
“I worry that some of those skills and some of the infrastructure for connecting with people in meaningful ways and in-person connections might be lacking for some folks in younger generations.”
Kreitzer suggests to those who may have frequent bouts of loneliness to acknowledge the feelings. Don’t ignore them. She advises them to reach out to family and friends to try to build or rebuild social connections. She also encourages people to join groups based on their interests.
Kreitzer highly recommends volunteering because of the health benefits associated with it.
“There’s actually research on that, that volunteering helps improve our own well-being,” she said. “It can actually improve our overall positive outlook, our mental health and well-being.”
Rugged yet lonely individuals
Back in Hayfield, Bolle said he tries to find community to fend off his loneliness. His location is a challenge because he finds groups in the Twin Cities some 90 miles away. He belongs to a spiritual group that meets once a week in Rochester, but that’s a 52-mile round trip, so he only goes from time to time.
Kris Bolle’s dog, Annie, in his 2020 Dodge Ram Promaster cargo van. Bolle is one of the 3,400 participants surveyed about loneliness by APM Research Lab. (Courtesy of Kris Bolle)
Bolle also prepares himself to encounter situations that bring on feelings of loneliness when he goes to Rochester on his weekends to run errands.
“When I see families out having fun together, or groups of people, groups of young people, you know, out together and having fun, that can trigger pangs of loneliness,” he said. “I just feel like I’m missing out on human connection.”
He said when he was younger, he bought into society’s emphasis on rugged individualism.
“But it just doesn’t work, because you will almost ultimately, always end up feeling lonely,” he said.
When he traveled the world with the Navy, Bolle said he saw community and family as top priorities in other countries as well as in the Mexican and Latino communities of Southern California where he grew up.
“You really do need that connection with other people,” he said. “It’s almost as important as food and shelter, you know?”
The data and the heart appear to agree.
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